Contemplatin' Nothin'

EDCI 602: Personal Reflection

2007-06-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Because we have only been teaching summer school for a week and a half, we have a limited number of samples to draw on for this exercise.

My students have been most successful at my lessons involving rote memorization. We had a fantastic first day with rules and consequences and, once these had been explained and implemented day two, learning the 8 parts of speech, went quite smoothly as well. My first theory to explain the success of these first days is the nature of the material, which required only that the students write down or memorize and then regurgitate specific pieces of information. The students also had some prior knowledge of parts of speech so I suspect that they felt fairly confident giving examples in front of their peers even though they were not always right. Additionally, modeling for these goals was easy and effective. A noun is a tree. I want you to sit in your seat LIKE THIS. Having a clear correct answer makes the students feel more comfortable, and at this point all the answers were at the first DOK level, "right there."

My students were least successful at the lesson in which I attempted to combine identifying and labeling ADJECTIVES and ADVERBS. This unfortunately seemed simple to me at the outset, but my students had a much harder time than I expected. After going through separate examples of adjectives, and then adverbs, and identifying the word being modified in each case and that word’s part of speech and subsequently applying the definition of “adjective” or “adverb” to confirm our assessment, I tried to combine the two. The students, I believe, struggled with this for a number of reasons. First, they are unaccustomed to having to think in order to get a correct answer. The answer was not “right there” for them; rather, they had to go through many steps to arrive at a correct answer. Furthermore, I feel that I could have been more explicit in my instructions about how to label the modifiers and WHY we were labeling the part of speech of the modifiers as well. After 50 minutes on adjectives and adverbs there is no reason other than simple failure to convey information that a student should have “big” as his “describer,” “tree” as his “word being modified,” “noun” as the part of speech of the word being modified, and yet have labeled the “describer” in this sentence and ADVERB. If he got all the pieces in place that I was trying to teach him except for the final step to success, I should have been more diligent in checking for understanding of the instructions of and the purpose for the activity under discussion.

Overall I think that my instructional procedures are effective for certain types of learners (visual and auditory) but that I could improve on including different learning styles. For example, if student X is a kinesthetic learner I could be sure to bring in some type of manipulative each day such as index cards labeled with adj’s or adv’s to be sorted into different columns or sticky notes on the board that would need to be physically arranged by a student into the appropriate column. This would undoubtedly help the entire class by providing a different way to look at the same problem, and would effectively differentiate for the kinesthetic learners. Also, based on my analysis above, I should probably plan more explicit transitions clearly explaining the connection between two ideas before I ask the students to embark upon drawing connections in a rather uncharted way, which is often intimidating to students as well as less likely to produce the same desired end result.

With much to learn …

Failures: AY 2006-2007

2007-06-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

Failure Story

Rather than a single unsuccessful venture, I am going to focus on the way in which I most profoundly failed each of three critical components: my students, my parents, and myself.

Part I : Students

At the end of the year, my most egregious offense against my students seems to have been a lack of planning. I do not owe my students a complete, typed, by-the-book lesson plan every day; they will never know the difference. I do not think that my occasional failure to return student work in a timely manner for the first overwhelming term drastically affected the climate of my classroom or the success of my students. I stayed after school, I attended their functions, I showed that I cared. What I never did for them was show them where we were going, where we had been, and how the two were related. I rarely knew what I was teaching more than a day or two ahead of time, and that resulted in a classroom that felt just slightly off-balance most days.

Oftentimes, it seems, you don’t know what you’ve been missing till you try it. Finally in the fourth term, and for only one of my three preps, I made a tentative schedule for the last month of school and it made a world of difference to my students. They came in to class knowing what to expect. They were mentally prepared for upcoming assignments, their parents called me with questions, and the students themselves demonstrated a greater sense of responsibility for the work they knew they had to do. Being perfectly honest, I did that one schedule a lot more for myself than for them, because we had an assignment to complete, because I needed to figure out how many classes we had left, because I realized belatedly that it would make things a lot clearer not only for them but for me, too. But when I told them in class about the long-term schedule they clamored for a copy to the point that I interrupted class and ran off a set of my own hand-written notes of “what to expect for the next five weeks.”

Not every student kept up with it, not every student read it, not every student listened in class when I explained it to them but it made enough of a difference to enough of my students that I realized I really should have been doing it all year.

It is easier for them to care about something if they think it matters, and it is easier for them to believe that it matters if it is tied in to topics that then tie in, in some way, to their lives. Looking back, I wound up with a few pretty decent units that were, in fact, related. Had I merely discovered this before teaching the material, taken the time to write up a schedule and a brief explanation, and passed this information along to my students, perhaps we all would have been a little bit more successful.

Next year …

Part II : Parents

In essence, I failed to communicate with my parents. The only parents I saw were the ones who came to see me, and in most situations those are the ones you need to see the least. I rarely informed parents of what we had going on in class, I never provided them with an opportunity to actively participate, and I failed even to let them know when their children were failing.

Again, slight improvements in the fourth term: I created a website for one of my classes that informed parents of upcoming assignments as well as my contact information. The website also linked to an online grade book, so parents did not have to wait for bi-weekly progress reports that may or may not have gotten home to see what their student had failed to turn in. This helped, and more parents contacted me. Again, next year will be better.

Part III: Myself

The way in which I most profoundly failed myself was a daily denial of all the work that had to be done. To some extent, this is healthy and necessary, but when it carries on for weeks or even months it becomes detrimental not only to the students and the instruction but to one’s own psyche as well. As I let things spiral farther out of control, as I took less and less responsibility for things that I knew had to be done, I became variably despondent, desperate, or sometimes both. For the third term that I taught, I graded almost nothing until two days before midterms. I took two personal days, spent the entire time grading papers, and managed to submit something to the administration. The build-up to Christmas break was worse. I graded nothing from midterms to exams while assigning massive projects with painfully specific rubrics, projects that were eventually graded on a cold night in January based, yes, on completion.

I drove away from my school on a December afternoon with the announcement still ringing in my ears that all grades must be in before we left for break. I received for Christmas, from my mother, a corkboard with a painting of schoolbooks and the words “Ms. Smith – Teachers Shape the Future.” It stayed in my car for four months because I was unable to muster the courage to acknowledge that someone, anyone, even my own mother two hundred miles away, actually believed in me.

I graded nothing over break. I cried for three days before I came back, and spent the first three days of the first week of third term teaching very little, sleeping less, and feverishly grading anything I thought someone might call me on if I didn’t. Grades were submitted Wednesday of that week (even mine) and third term was a near-miraculous reversal in which I vowed, Scarlett O’Hara style, to never put myself through that again.

Papers were graded almost instantaneously, grades were recorded, papers were redistributed, and term’s end hasn’t bothered me since.

But that was a hellish 9 weeks.

EDCI 602: Learning Goals

2007-06-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

The overarching goal we set for our students for the first week of school was: TSW define and identify each of the 8 parts of speech in sentences. Along with this we included subject/verb agreement, identification and correction of sentence fragments, and a discussion of the difference between the parts of a sentence (subject, verb, etc) versus the parts of speech. For the remainder of summer school we plan to continue working on basic grammar skills (subject vs object, subj/verb agreement, etc), mechanics (mainly punctuation), effective writing skills, and reading comprehension (identifying main idea, summarizing, etc).

We selected these skills based on four broad categories: the mississippi state frameworks, the MCT test, the EBS objectives passed to us from the school district, and our assessment of the likely problem areas for these students based on a year of teaching similar students elsewhere. The skills that we plan to teach are generally basic and necessary skills that every student needs, and because of the situation and the grade level we have designed lessons that allow space for prior knowledge in the form of contributions in class, but that do not rely on this prior knowledge in order to acquire the desired skills.

The inductive strategy we included in our planning was an activity in which students organized various words written on index cards into different groups based on the 8 parts of speech (all cards fit into one of the 8 categories = concept formation). This activity helped us assess students' understanding of the different functions of each of the 8 parts of speech (a sort of pre-assessment) and gave us a brief opportunity to individually help students who were struggling. Additionally, through words that can serve as more than one part of speech we were able to discuss the idea that there is not always just one right answer and that it is important to pay attention to all the parts of a question rather than assuming that your first guess is the right one.

For the next two weeks we have organized each day into four "subject" blocks (grammar, punctuation, writing skills, and reading comprehension) in the hope that this structure will help our students organize the information that they receive as well as providing some consistency in the midst of changing teachers in order to effect our ultimate goal of student learning.

The Good, The Bad, and THE ADMINISTRATION: cont'd

2007-06-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last three weeks of my life saying again and again and again to various groups of students: It's not you.

Every one of my peers who is leaving my school cites the administration as the reason, but when the ninth grade MYP kids come into my room listing off the horrifying 80% of teachers they had this year who will be gone next year how do I make them understand ... it's REALLY NOT YOU.

In the midst of one of my many priceless conversations with Mr. Roth during our planning block ... 4th period ... which had for no apparent reason been shifted to the 3rd period spot ... which was doubly confusing because then suddenly you're taking the wrong kids to lunch ... right. In the middle of our conversation, in which we're wondering what we'll do with our third block kids when we DO get them anyway, because technically this is exam week and they've already tested so they have nothing to do, the third(/[fourth]) block bell rings ... TWENTY MINUTES EARLY. I rush back to my room to get my stuff together, he continues tearing his hair out in his own inimitable way, and the students move from their fourth period to their third period classes. Next. Three minutes AFTER the early bell, which would leave us with our third block classes with nothing to do for OVER TWO HOURS, an announcement comes on the loudspeaker: "Teachers please ignore the bell, it was sounded early, students should REMAIN in their fourth period classes, repeat please remain in your fourth period classes" So we tell all our third-block students who are streaming in to go BACK to their fourth block classes (which, naturally, comes BEFORE third block anyway), soon after which the loudspeaker comes on AGAIN announcing this time that students are to report to their third-period classes at this time. Send the five fourth-block kids who have actually returned to class back on their way, and report to hall duty to direct the understandably confused flow of traffic. hm.

MYP ninth graders take:
English: me / Mr. C
English double-dip: Mr R
Chemistry: Mr. D // Mr. T
Computer Elective: Ms. P
Math: Mr. B
Spanish / French: me / Ms. R / Mr. B
History ... ? whatever

Mr. R., Mr. D., Mr. T., Ms. P., Mr. B., Ms. R. .... they're leaving. six out of the nine possible teachers they've had, most of whom are first or second-year teachers are running out of this school like it's catching and how are these kids not going to internalize that ... just a little. How do you come through a system in which a ninth grade student has been passed for three straight years due to "problems in the district" (meaning their teacher ran out and the sub never got his stuff together so they passed the whole class) and not notice ... just a little ... that nobody really seems to care.

And it's NOT THEM. but actions speak louder than words, my friends, and I will be joining the fleeing crowd next year, running out and leaving someone else to tell them ... it's not them.

because I can't live in a world where I am ignored and disrespected and lied to by my superiors. because I refuse to reside in a community that kills my brain cells merely by the mundane tasks it requires of me on a daily basis. because this isn't a career for a sane person.

But it's NOT THEM.

the good, the bad, and the administration : AY 2006-2007

2007-06-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

Went down to Mr. Roth's room roundabout the second-to-last week of school to ask him what he was doing with a particular student we shared. Impressed that I already had my grades together, he was prompted to comment, "You've had a good year."
I think the look I gave him must have been similar to the jewel Ben got when he asked me ... in DECEMBER ... why I thought someone should join teacher corps: Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!
In Jake's case, I followed up the incredulity with the comment "I wanted to shoot myself in the FACE for the majority of the year."
His immediate response: "Hey, I STILL want to shoot myself in the face most of the time. But you've done well, people have learned things. You've had a good year."

And so it goes.

"The Good" : Amber C.
In my "regular" English class, she always had something to say but, unlike most of my other students, what she said was usually related to what I was trying to talk about. One of my brightest students overall, she kept class discussions lively and kept me from tearing my hair out some days.
Favorite story: I grade daily work for completion, mostly. As in, if you DO it all, you get a big fat happy one hundred, Amber's usually embellished with a "great job!" because her work is ALWAYS a cut above the rest. Amber worked with Sasha in a partner activity near the end of the year. Sasha typically makes 50-70 percent on daily work and less than that on tests, but since she worked with Amber on this one THEY, of course, got a hundred. Whoever passed out the work handed the paper back to Sasha rather than Amber and Sasha yelled out across the room to Amber "WE GOT A ONE HUNDRED!!" Amber immediately lets out a high-pitched squeal, runs over, and gives Sasha a great big hug.
This is a DAILY work grade, Amber has gotten hundreds on everything she's turned in all year, and yet ...
what a beautiful child.

"The Good," cont'd: 7th Block B-days and C.M.
my 7th block class was one of the first to notice that I was a real person (not just a "teacher") and start asking me questions about myself. They were the first to figure out how old I really am, that this was my first year teaching, and to start asking questions about the tawdry connections between me and the mysteriously handsome teacher across the hall. Once it became OBVIOUS (from various 1-3 minute long between-class conversations in the hall) that we were in love, I had C.M. in my room taking a test after school. True to form, he was carrying on a enthusiastic conversation with me in the midst of carelessly marking multiple choice answers on a test he'd failed to make up two months earlier when I gave it in class, but when Mr. S appeared in my door from across the hall C.M. became unusally silent. When Mr. S at last withdrew C.M. immediately informed me that he couldn't be caught talking to me in front of my boyfriend like that. I threw him one of my now-infamous looks of complete and utter skepticism to which he flippantly responded, "It's okay Ms. S. It's aright to date a black guy."

Clearly, that was the only thing standing in my way. :)

[To be continued...]

Mental-Health Timeline of A First-Year Teacher

2007-05-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

The Practical Side: How it Happens (Or, where’s that light again?)

I promised you a light, now, can we get overnight shipping on that?
(in all seriousness, consider investing in some kind of light therapy. My roommate came home with a lamp one of the many Sunday evenings on which I was feeling too overwhelmed to do anything at all. I immediately hijacked the lamp, took off the shade, and left it blazing in the middle of my floor -- along with my own desk lamp, the overhead light, and a halogen lamp – for the remainder of the evening and the larger part of the next two weeks)

So how, in six or eight months’ time, do you get through the “hardest year of your professional life” and manage to come out clean, and why can’t we just tell you all our secrets so you don’t have to be painfully, heartbreakingly miserable for a good number of those months?

No idea.
RJ told me that by the Spring I wouldn’t want to take days off. I thought he was crazy. (he is). But the week before state testing, there was a tournament in Huntsville I wanted to compete in. I would have to take Friday off school to make it there in time, and I thought “well, I really need that time at school … I’d rather be with my kids.”
IT HAPPENED.

Here’s how it happened for me:

First Nine Weeks:
Running on adrenaline; still think the hardest thing I’m going to have to do is plan stimulating lessons for various evaluations

Labor Day is the last time I remember caring and/or having the energy to effectively influence a) what I was wearing OR b) my physical surroundings (apartment, classroom, car, etc)

The phrase: “we are living in squalor” became a convenient expression of our communal state of mind

Second Nine Weeks:
Surprisingly healthy and happy for the first half, I fell fast towards the middle of that deep dark pool around November. Check-mark grading became a must (hats off to RJ). Days off were necessary not for relaxation but in order to get the absolutely critically necessary work done. Managed to grade NOTHING for each half of the term until reports were due.

Deeply felt the inarguable truth of MD’s crushing statement: The hardest thing you will have to do is get out of bed every morning.

Christmas break:
Ignored school, ignored my grades, cried for two days before I had to come back. Spent the first week of third nine weeks grading and avoiding the office until I finally got it together. Vowed to be more organized/on top of my stuff third nine weeks.

Third Nine Weeks:
WORLDS BETTER. Tons of stress, but somehow manageable.
Fly in the ointment: Oxford five out of eight weekends

Fourth Nine Weeks:
Worlds better again.

I don’t know what these magical changes are that happen. It’s not easy, I’m not on top of my game, but I’m not out of my mind anymore either.

Things do change.

Pandora’s Box (advice to first-years / first year reflection)

2007-05-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

According to Edith Hamilton’s Mythology, Pandora lifted the lid of her infamous box “and out flew plagues innumerable, sorrow and mischief for mankind … One good thing, however, was there – Hope”

Be that as it may, I doubt hope was the first thing early man noticed as he was engulfed by the plagues, sorrows, and, perhaps more aptly in this case, plain old mischief released from the box. So it goes with teaching.

Later, talking about Norse mythology, Hamilton allows that “even these sternly hopeless Norsemen, whose daily life in their icy land through the black winters was a perpetual challenge, saw a far-away light break through the darkness”

Wherever the light is your first semester of teaching, it’s almost too far away to matter. And although we’re not in the blackest of black winters, I’ve heard descriptions equally disheartening and hardly less poetic of the first term teaching. A second-year’s droll prediction of how life would look roundabout the middle of my first semester:
“It’s like being in the middle of a deep, dark pool when you are too far away to reach either shore and too tired to swim”

Sad but true.

The only thing that any of us can tell you (and we will …) is that it does get better.

HJ told us at the Christmas dinner that his first year teaching was the longest year of his life … but that the second year flew by.

RJ insisted that I take days off the first term, while insisting equally that by 4th quarter I wouldn’t even want them anymore.

Ben will tell you a hundred times that no one has ever found the second year to be harder than the first.

And my entire “team” this summer was convinced that by the third year, you’ll really have the hang of it.

So sometime next October (don’t believe everything Ben tells you, by the way, I made it through October with my sanity and managed to stave off the breakdown until mid-December, which when it came was no less traumatizing for the wait) … or December, or February, in the long haul when some person apparently even less competent than yourself decides to have you drive to Oxford for five CONSECUTIVE weekends … remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that somehow, inexplicably, it WILL and DOES get better. Timing of this post could have been much more appropriate, no doubt, but I’m at the point where I am beginning to see the light break, and not just because it’s May.

Andy Dufraine, according to the Shawshank Redemption, crawled through a river of sh*t came out clean on the other side.

It happens.

You can, and you will.

ENJOY whatever you’re doing until you get here, take as much as you can from this summer (and DON’T let it stress you out!!), and remember sometime in the fall that along with the mischief of all mankind you will inevitably find hope. Far away, there is a light.

What you need to know before you arrive: Part II

2007-03-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

We are your best resource -- USE IT

This program works because of the participants. You will quickly find that, with few exceptions, your classes are designed to allow MTC to award us all degrees a few years from now. Not to teach you anything you don't know. MTC is a competitive program, which means that you are smart and capable. You don't need professional development, you don't need to sit in class for six hours most saturdays. But you do (probably) need MTC to get certified and help you find a spot, so since you'll be driving to Oxford anyway, make the most of it.

You will be living, working, eating, and breathing with each other for the first two months. You will get to know each other. To a lesser extent, you will get to know us.

Come June 29th, the second years will leave Oxford. Come August, you will be teaching your own class. The first few months of school will be some of the longest of your life, but the summer will fly by, so have fun, live it up, but don't waste an opportunity to learn. The cross country assistant coach at my school was recruited at Parish's. The tutoring club that I sponsor got its start at Ajax Diner. Don't wait for the opportune moment to ask a question or address an issue you are having -- ask. Ask ten people, ask your mentors and your roommates and ben and ms monroe, let everybody give you the best they've got and you figure out what you want to do with it.

You WILL receive a ton of conflicting advice. We like to talk a lot, you like to talk a lot, and most of us have ideas worth sharing. Listen, talk, don't let it stress you out, and always take what you want and leave the rest. You will have your own style, that's why you will be effective. The worst piece of advice for you might be the best for the girl sitting next to you. No worries on that count.

What I learned from my classes this summer:
How to write a lesson plan

What I learned from other people in the program:
-how to manage a classroom (E.S.)
-that I do some things right (A.M.)
-How to project confidence
-How to play it off (C.C.)
-How my school works (this is a biggie -- Dake and Jave, and all the beautiful brave souls who started the year with me as first-years)
-That we really DO all have different styles and that's REALLY OKAY (the sooner you're okay with this, the better you will be) (J.K., W.S., and the rest of my TEAM)
-That having a year of experience doesn't fix all your problems ... and that's okay, too
-How to survive 9-wks grades and massive posterboard projects (thanks, jake)
ETC ...

Basically... you'll get to know each other, you won't all like each other, but the beautiful thing about MTC is that nobody comes to the mississippi delta to make money and if you think you're here to do charity work you'll change your mind or leave, so we're ALL HERE FOR BASICALLY THE SAME REASONS. we all want to do a good job, we basically all want to help each other, and believe it or not you will be a heck of a lot busier in the fall than you are over the summer so make the most of it, kids. Nobody's as intimidating or as big of a jerk as you think they are ... and if you're sure you don't need any help at all, let me know how that's going roundabout october. Pay attention, think about things, ask questions, try, and it'll all fall into place sooner or later.

If it worked, we wouldn't be here: What you need to know before you arrive

2007-03-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

If it worked, we wouldn't be here.

So said a second-year MTC-er when I stormed into his classroom irate that the district had given me a nine-weeks exam to replace the one I had been promising to my students on the novel we had actually been WORKING ON ALL TERM. According to the syllabus I received from the other English I teacher there were actually supposed to be two novels, so I set a breakneck pace for the first and had it complete by parent-teacher conferences, during which I also handed out a reading/presentation schedule for the remainder of the term (second novel). The next day during professional development I was told that the first novel was coming along slower than the other teacher had anticipated so we would postpone novel number two to the fourth nine weeks. So I had four weeks to kill with a novel we'd finished reading. Surprisingly it worked out well and we spent the time productively, but parents were confused, students were annoyed, and by the time we took the exam at the end of the nine weeks (testing has to be uniform across a prep) my students had read the book a good 4 weeks earlier. Add in to the mix a district exam that I got the morning I was to give my nine weeks exam (25 pages long, handed to you the morning of with five minutes till the bell and a line six people long for the copier and you are expected to run thirty copies for your class ...) and the exam on the novel had to be postponed until AFTER spring break. make that a six-week gap between reading and testing.
And I'm the one who will take the heat if the scores are low, in our weekly data inquiry meetings in which we talk about who and how we are all failing.

If it worked, we wouldn't be here.

The sooner you are able to INTERNALIZE this, the easier your life will be. Because it really sucks when the schools does things that screw you over. Lack of notification for required documents. EEF supplies that arrive in April (I still don't have all of mine, got the first bit a week before spring break). Lack of support/communication/consistency in general. But where it's really going to get frustrating is when THEY do things that screw over YOUR kids and YOU have no control over it. none. That's when you have be furious, think how awful the system is, take a breath, and remember ... if it worked, we wouldn't be here.

The fact that it doesn't work is why most of us won't be here two years from now. The fact that it doesn't work is why they need us so badly, why it's so frustrating, and probably the single most important thing to know before you get here. You will learn all summer long how to teach, what types of problems you will be facing, and how to deal with them. What they can't prepare you for is going through it every day.

The very second year who provided me with such an apt and oddly comforting explanation was ready to tear his own hair out yesterday due to a completely different but similarly idiotic situation. That part doesn't go away, that part doesn't get better. That part is why we're here, in schools with no support, in crazy no-name towns in the mississippi delta, in dysfunctional environments.

If it worked ... we wouldn't be here.

If Soujourner Truth was alive today ...

2007-03-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

My Letter for Woman's Rights

by M. W.

I think if Sojourner Truth was still alive today. She would be dispointed at the young black woman today, because in our generation today, black woman are having babies. Black woman are not teaching the children right. I also think Sojourner Truth say that she tryed so hard to stand up for woman rights, and now they have abruse them. So I think Sojourner Truth would be very dispointed at the young "Black Womans" today.

A Man Over There

by M.B.

A man over there say
A woman can't work like a man,
She needs his help, she needs his helping hand

A man over there say
We need to be house wives,
We need to make food with forks and knives

The man over there
He need to look again,
We can do the same, or even more than a man

A man over there say
We can't leave our homes
He say when we talk to him it has to be in a low tone

But the man over there,
That is saying all this stuff
Don't realize my life been bad and really really rough

I'm here to say that the man over there,
Needs to shut up, he's wrong
That's why I'm here today reciting my poem

A man over there,
That is listenting to my speech
Now knows that we have our own minds and we not scared to speak

Almost a Second-Year ( and kids who feel entitled)

2007-03-04T16:04:00.000-08:00

** all ideas and opinions expressed in this article are held by the author, who does not claim to represent the wider view of the program's many illustrious members **

First and second nine weeks were about getting by, third nine weeks was about learning how to do a little more than that, and fourth nine weeks, it would appear, is about making some tough decisions.

We know the schools need us now. We see the incompetence all around and realize that probably, no matter how bad we were to start off with, we're doing better than the average Joe by improving and possibly even more important simply by TRYING. Not a single last one of us hasn't made an effort, say what you will.

And now that we know, we have power. And now that we've run the gauntlet, some of us want to get out. Most of us have seen a few things that worked and a multitude of things that didn't, most have realized by now how sad the system is and that the newest teachers get the worst deals and the least support, that once you're in you get smaller classes, fewer preps, better pay, and more support, that once you know the people who have the same preps as you your job gets a little easier, that once you've made allies you get a little less flack for not having all your ducks in a row ...
This is sad because we do have a teacher shortage, because you're worsening the conditions for your most at-risk teacher population (1-5 years), and because most teachers quit because conditions are already bad enough. You shouldn't be tested with fire your first year, the hardest classes shouldn't be DUMPED on first-year teachers, and you shouldn't have a hundred percent yearly turnover for your state-tested, high-stakes courses.

A lot of things shouldn't happen, in fact, and it's a lot easier to see that now and it's a lot easier to see ways out.

We saw white bratty high school students at wendy's this weekend and we were kind of disgusted, we see clinton kids with their long hair and their parents' credit cards and we hate them a little bit, but their schools have enough toilet paper in the bathroom and their schools don't run out of lunch food before the last block and their schools probably start class on time.

And, just guessing, we kind of assume that at their schools if you cuss a teacher out you get some consequences for it.

And we think these things and we kind of want to be at their schools.

But if we're at our schools next year, if we stay and decide to fight the good fight one last time, things are changing, because now we know. We're entitled too, now, and we're not new and we're not getting screwed a second time. WE are not teaching four preps next year, we are not having class sizes over the legal limit, we are going to be subject to ridiculous expectations and mounds of paperwork and incompetent administrators and inconsistent enforcement of school policies but we AREN'T coming in without a say.

We're not great yet, but we're trying. We will work hard, we have improved, and if our school districts want the best for their students they will make minimal accommodations and keep us where we're needed most. But none of us are going through that again.

Johnnie Franklin

2007-03-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

And what we think about that.

For those of you who aren't members of the illustrious class of 2008, Johnnie Franklin, the governor's advisor on education, told us this weekend that we needed to get over the "poor teacher" mentality because the attitude is the majority of the problem, and, really, if you look at it, we don't get paid that badly after all. And besides, he continued ... NOTHING is as meaningful as the student who came up to him two weeks ago and said "thank you, mr. franklin. You made a difference."

*cough*

His point: Teachers actually get very good pay and good benefits for the job that we do, so we should get over the poor teacher mentality and that would make everything better.

My point: That's a load of crap.

Few comments on that theory...

FIRST:
Nobody gets into teaching for the money. Opportunities for advancement AREN'T all that great, the salary isn't outstanding for the man hours worked, and the entry-level stress is off the charts. This is common knowledge, and I don't think even Johnnie Franklin would argue with that (although, after forty years in education he's never had a bad day, so ... whatever).

So the problem ISN'T the pay or benefits, we all come into it ALREADY BELIEVIEVING that the most meaningful part of the job is changing lives. NOT feeling sorry for ourselves. Most teachers are here for a reason.

SECOND:
Very few people LEAVE teaching because they aren't getting ENOUGH money. He told us HIMSELF that the top three reasons teachers cite for leaving their jobs are, in order of importance, lack of support from the administration, lack of support from the community, and a sense that the community does not value education.

So the problem STILL isn't the money. We came into for the right reasons, believing that we could change lives, and we got BURNED OUT by a lack of administrative support and probably an overwhelming work load, feeling like all the odds were stacked against us.

THIRD:
The teacher shortage is at least as much about retaining teachers as about getting new ones to come in. If the problem is retaining teachers, you're certainly taking the wrong angle to say the problem is the mentality and if everyone wasn't so unreasonably down on teaching that there would be a lot more teachers. Yes, I'll agree that public opinion is that you don't go into teaching to make the big bucks, but he already told us (the data, in fact, told us) that money's not the big issue here. And, sidenote, let's be honest, guys ... you DON'T go into teaching to make the big bucks!
So, if the problem is about retention, and if teachers don't quit their jobs because of money and if (also according to surveys) paying them more would not be the best way to incite them to stay, then it seems a bit ridiculous to drive this whole point on how much we make versus how much we work. Yes, we work a lot, and yes, plenty of us would be happy to argue that point too because I think few people realize how many man hours do go into doing a decent job at this gig, but THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM. We don't quit because we're underpaid, we don't even quit because we're overworked, WE QUIT BECAUSE WE GET NO SUPPORT. So to turn around and say that you could solve the teacher shortage by advertising what a sweet deal we get financially when THE DATA is right there telling you that the problem IS NOT IS NOT IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY ... just doesn't make sense.

Good work, Mr. Franklin. And better luck convincing your next crowd.

Just spent five hours ...

2007-02-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

... in the middle of the night adding all of my grades to some crazy online grading system that our district decided to ask us to use, yes, that's right, in the MIDDLE of the term.

good times. ^_-

An object in motion tends to remain ...

2007-02-04T15:06:00.000-08:00

In my advanced English class we are reading Lord of the Flies. This unit is focused on what constitutes a hero, and this section is of course determining whether human nature is innately good or evil. WHAT will the little boys do when they are left on their own??? Will Roger realize that there are no consequences for throwing stones at little Henry and will it all go downhill from there?? What will protect little Henry when parents, the law, policemen, and teachers all fail?

What my kids have thus far glossed over in the book is the curious and magical moment in the very first chapter when Jack declares "we'll have rules! Lots of rules!!"
They tell us that kids want rules, want order, actually WANT to be told what to do, very explicitly. And want to be made to adhere to these rules, generally speaking. This is supposed to make us feel better about classroom management, about enforcing our consequences. I buy it. But, talking from possibly the best assignment in the corps, I'd like to point out that not only do kids want to follow our rules ... they really WANT to like and trust and respect us, too. It is a game, it is a challenge, but basically if you try, you'll win ... with a lot of them.

An example, knowing I'm coming from the blessed ....
The first weeks of school I was doing good to have my rules and consequences posted. A few weeks later I got up the gumption to post rewards. An A-wall, which I have yet to implement. Tickets, which I began distributing immediately. Unfortunately, for a good two weeks after I started giving out tickets I didn't put up what they were good for. But the kids wanted them anyway. For two weeks, they just trusted me that they were worth something. With no reason to. I got an assignment from a student this term, my turn-around term when I actually started grading every important piece of work that came through my hands and stopped leaving them in piles on my bedroom floor until the night before progress reports were due ... and from a girl who decorates every project with exquisite hand-made artwork a note, "please return"

But she decorated it anyway.

Point being, I am constantly surprised at the faith these kids place in me, in us, in everyone. They want us to care about the details. They want us to know which side of the paper the heading goes on and whether it's a good idea for them to try out for the play this fall and what we think of their poetry. They want us to like them. And, they want to like us. That's why this works for me, for joe shmoe down the hall, for sally smith, for whoever really tries. I didn't always do right by my kids. There are plenty of assignments they never got back, a few that didn't make as much sense as they should have, and, i'll admit it, we spent the first three weeks of ALL MY CLASSES reading "The Sniper" For THREE WEEKS. but they trusted me anyway.

Some of my students this term have done complete 180's from last semester, have started turning in their work and paying attention in class, even reading, and honestly, I don't know where it came from. But when I point out to them how much better they're doing ... they seem so pleased. They know it and I know it ... but they want me to say it. And you realize how much more you could have been doing. When I showed my 5th block their term grades and exam grades I told a few of them that there was no excuse for, say, a 57 on the term when they can pull and 89 on the exam. And for some of them ... that's all it took, I've gotten work from them ever since. And to think that I didn't spend the thirty seconds it would have taken me to say the same thing after the first nine weeks. But still, they trust me.

Kozol says, of a man filling out paperwork to get his daughter enrolled in school, "the father's earnestness, his faith in the importance of these details ... stay in my mind later"

These students' firm, unquestioning faith ... despite everything ... will stay in our minds.

Solutions for kids who don't care

2007-02-04T06:45:00.000-08:00

At a staff meeting this week we discussed our data. Each week, sometimes more often, we meet and discuss the astronomical failure rate of our children, especially ninth grade. We talk about intervention strategies that we could use to encourage these children to succeed. We discuss tutoring and initiative and motivation. And at the end of the day when we don't know how to make our children succeed, we always turn it back around on them. Years ago, a lady said, a man paid for a church van out of his own money to take students home from tutoring because they had no way to get home. The van typically had one or two students on it. If the children don't want to succeed, the teachers eventually decide, we can't change that.

On the other side of the fence sit the administrators, urging us to use our thousand-page blue and yellow and red books full of "intervention strategies." Every possible problem we could face, they assure us, has its solution in these many pages. I wouldn't know. Mine serves to prop up a wobbly desk. But let us be clear about the types of intervention we are discussing. The single largest cause for failure at my school is not the children who cannot understand the material and thus perform poorly on tests. Nor is it the delinquents who have discovered long ago that they will inevitably perform poorly on tests and so refuse to put pen to paper when the time comes. Children don't come with supplies, the administration notes, but this is easily solved by teachers having a ready supply themselves. Expecting a child to bring a pen and paper to school, they inform us, is oftentimes too much to expect. The indignation at this statement is quickly translated by our verbal administrative moderator as a lack of sympathy on the part of the outraged teachers, a complete and utter lack of understanding of the circumstances out of which these students come. Even if, as a staff, we accept that these students are allowed to slip by outside the classroom without meeting minimal expectations, is it our responsibility, then, to allow them to do the same in our classrooms? But their homes, says the administration ... we can never really understand what it's like to grow up without the privileges that we all enjoyed. These children simply don't value education, can't be EXPECTED to value education, and so it is our responsibility as teachers to have texts that will be likely to engage the students, texts on many different reading levels, coloring books if necessary, and this on a school budget that cannot supply a grade-level text to every child. If only we had coloring books, certainly our students would perform better on the state exams. Someone should tell the governor.

A ninth-grade teacher pipes up, says that the argument doesn't hold because she was raised a home of the same type that supplies our students and SHE understood the value of education although it was not highly valued in her home. The administrator again uses her as a lucky example, saying that not everyone can be expected to have the internal drive and motivation that she has.

But oh yes, what was the point of our coming together? To discuss our failures, of course. And neglecting the over-30% of my students who simply failed to turn in a major assignment they knew counted as a test grade, glossing over the computer discovery students who fail at unit modules because they are unable to read the manual that tells them how to operate their computers, let us come together as a staff and consider how to address the fundamental problem that we see: The kids just aren't coming to school.

It is the students who DON'T SHOW UP, then, who are to be our primary concern. As a ninth grade TEACHER ... not counselor, not state agent assigned to address and seek out the truants in this district ... it becomes my primary responsibility, not to teach the students I see before me every day, not merely to follow lesson plans and guidelines and give four assessments a term and grade three drafts of a writing prompt I don't want to teach, but to ENTICE truant students to come to my classroom every day. Why, give everyone a hundred for a daily grade if the class has perfect attendance, a cheerful voice suggests, the voice, in fact, of the very administrator who told us moments ago that these children have no reason to value education, anyway. What, then, will a hundred on a daily grade DO for them?? Another teacher voices an objection at giving away grades, but is quickly and definitively overwhelmed by a chorus of voices explaining that you're not GIVING them anything, again, you simply don't understand where they're coming from. Another voice chimes in that if nutter butters is what it takes, he'll give his class cookies if they all show up, someone else agrees and insists that although many of these students will not in fact care about a hundred on a daily grade, we should find out what matters to each student and reward them accordingly.

I am disturbingly reminded of a passage from Kozol (whose style, no doubt, has influenced this post) in which he points out that, to a group of AP kids in a well-funded school district, "questions of unfairness feel more like a geometric problem than a matter of humanity or conscience," meaning that the entire discussion is taking place on a theoretical level that intersects with reality very slightly if at all.

Does the teacher who voiced the comment have nutter-butters in his classroom? Not to my knowledge. Will he next week? Probably not. Is this because he doesn't care about his students? My answer is no.

But it made the administrator happy, we all agreed that individual rewards would stem the flood of no-shows in our classrooms, and, fifty minutes of our wasted planning period later, we all returned to our nutter-butter-less classrooms to get back to the real work at hand.

And this is the best we have to offer our children, an administration that mandates that the most important thing is to reach the kids who aren't even there. We can't touch them and we all know it. The kids who are barely passing, who are trying, who are here, aren't worth discussing. Because they are not yet a statistic, they're still here for us to help them, they don't merit five minutes of the fifty that were just taken from us.

And our refrain continues to insist that they are the ones who don't care.

ben's band bangs.

2006-12-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

Ben-Style CM: Modified

So I didn't think I could ever successfully enforce every rule every time. And I didn't think I wanted to. I was pretty strict at the beginning, but even then ... EVERY rule, EVERY time?? I'm doing good if I remember to change kids from absent to tardy when they come in half an hour late, let's be honest.

So I decided to go with the spirit of the law more than the letter of the law, because I've already confessed that I don't enforce some of my rules very much any more (raising your hand before you speak, for example) and I'm okay with that.

I came back from Thanksgiving break and had to give out tons of detentions to keep everybody back in line. I've tried to keep things pretty well under control since then because we (me and my students) are definitely all just about ready to jump ship for christmas break a few days early, and it shows. So here's what I decided to do.

Rules that I don't enforce, well ... for the last two weeks, I still haven't enforced them. I still don't make anyone participate in my class. I still haven't been consistent with the hand-raising policy. But the things that I have found do still matter to me (I don't want any hitting in my classroom -- even if you're playing. I don't want anything in your mouth. I don't want any shirts untucked. I don't want any food...), I have tried to enforce consistently. As in, the sweet little straight-A student gets the same detention for play-hitting her friend in front of my face as the cheating, obnoxious kid who never attends class gets for shoving a girl in the lunch line. This has been less painful than I expected, and I think has probably helped to maintain a working atmosphere for the last few weeks. I don't think I'm capable of doing the every-rule every-time thing, but I definitely see the benefits of just bloody being consistent. It helps them to understand exactly what my expectations are, and it actually helps me, too. Because if joe shmo is driving me absolutely up the wall and I know that I'm just looking for a reason to give him detention, well ... I know I'm not being fair, and a lot of times it's just enough to give me pause. Yeah, mabey he's not doing things by the book, and mabey he's pushing the envelope, and mabey this that and the other, but if he's not breaking any rules, and if I'm not going to change my rules or say anything to him about it, it's not doing either one of us any good for me to stand there stewing. It's like having a rubric for grading a test. If they said this, they get the 5 points. If they didn't, it doesn't matter how sweet they are, they just don't. Keeps everybody under control.
Yay for classroom management and christmas break.

first semester reflection

2006-12-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

#1. I'm a teacher.
Not that I don't have those moments when I look into my classroom and act like an old person and think well, gee, it wasn't all that long ago when I was IN a classroom like that, not that I don't definitely feel like I'm faking it sometimes, but despite all that, I'm a bona fide teacher now. I freak out a lot less about little things. Leaving my classroom. Getting interrupted. Dealing with excuses. Making the wrong decision. Making copies.
It's just not as big of a deal. I'm about 100% more relaxed than I was in August. and i kind of like that.

#2. The good
I got it good to start with. IB kids. Freshman. Adorable little children who do what I say. So I didn't have as much of a horrifying learning curve/culture shock as a lot of other people. I also have six other MTC teachers at my school, which is awesome.
I made it to October and started trying to set up ETC (enrichment tutoring club). I made it to December and, while all the kinks have yet to be worked out, I take between 5 and 25 kids next door to tutor real live first graders and kindergarteners twice a week, and 26 little kids are actually benefitting from something that I made happen. Go me, and love the kids who care.
My marble jars have unexpected benefits. My children do things like say "7th block has so many marbles. But those are all the BAD kids!" Well, they're models of good behavior in MY class, thanks.
And the rotating core of 6 or 7 students who stay after school sometimes to hang out, grade my papers, straighten my desks, and chat have started to like me now. they tell me things.

#3. The less good
as i get more relaxed in the mechanics and authority of my position, I'm hitting that place that I think most people somehow have innately to begin with, where I start to actually care. about my kids. I just started getting mad that I spend more time grading their quizzes than they spend reading for them. I just started caring that on some level their unwillingness to do enough work to succeed in my class might possibly be indicative of their level of success in years to come. I am VERY SLOWLY noticing things that I think most people came into this position knowing. for the few moments when I stop treading water and look around, I realize the blade all our kids are walking on and how little it will take for them to fall off and how we can never do enough to help them. For the few moments when I take the time to notice.
I also started having trouble developing the motivation to exit my apartment and get on the freeway in the right direction to get to my high school.

#4. In conclusion
It hits me occasionally that my job is inevitably one in which I will be constantly barraged with people trying to dupe me or take advantage of me in some way. I realize occasionally the absurdity of the girl who skips french 2nd period, skips english 3rd period, and shows up at my door in the first five minutes of 4th block asking for her jacket that she forgot in my room two days ago. Has something in my behavior led her to believe that this is okay??

I imagine most of us will manage to keep on keeping on for a while longer, but I'm withholding final judgment for at least a few more months. Life has become a balancing act, and it's easy to end up on the wrong end.

Letters of Intent are due in March.

Classroom Management Plan

2006-11-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

I don't really know how to do this without re-writing out a lot of my plan from the summer and then also writing out my revisions to it, but here goes.
I still agree with my definitions and big ideas ... essentially, the idea of classroom management is to create a safe, learning-centered environment by consistently enforcing specific expectations designed to promote said environment.

Rules:
My rules from my summer presentation were the same as from summer school:
#1 Stay in your seat
#2 Raise your hand
#3 Respect your teacher, your classmates, and yourself
Before school started I added #4 Act Responsibly and #5 Participate
These five rules are still posted in my classroom.
#3 and #4 have worked well for me as blanket statements. Yes, you have to come prepared. Read our 4th rule. Yes, you are responsible for getting your own make-up work. It's part of being responsible. I make them read the rule about being respectful usually at least once a week when I think they're not acting respectful (to me, their peers, etc), and they seem to get the idea at least.
#5 is a stupid rule for me because I don't enforce it.
#1 and #2 I'm glad to have but I don't enforce consistently. When we are having a good discussion and students are participating I let them call out answers, but if they start calling out on top of each other we read rule #3 and then go back to raising our hands. I suppose I shouldn't post rules that I don't always enforce, but regardless I plan to have "raise your hand" again next year because 1) I want that there to back me up when I DO want them to do it and 2) I enforced it STRICTLY for the first few weeks of class, and that is definitely the kind of classroom climate I want. In the position I'm in (young, new, white, small, female) I'm more than willing to sacrifice a little open discussion for control. Especially in the beginning.

Consequences are pretty basic:
warning (verbal), copying consequence, detention, referral
I've stuck with this except in cases when students tell me they won't do the copying anyway. then we generally skip to detention. My clever idea of calling it a copying consequence instead of a writing assignment backfired because I call it a writing assignment by accident sometimes, but oh well. It's copying from a dictionary, not a "writing assignment," so hopefully they notice the difference. This is also what I have them do in detention (which is what they get if they don't do a writing assignment. If they don't come to detention they get an office referral which results in saturday detention, if they don't show up for that they get suspended, and so on ...)

Rewards:
Posted systm is Verbal Praise, A-Wall, Student of the Week, and Tickets
Basically, I suck at this game. Too much ELSE to do, and I know it's important but I just don't make it important enough some days.
I'm good with tickets (sometimes) which can now actually buy you things, I cut corners for candy and have begun to remember to do this at the end of every week, and I give candy to students who are working when most of the class isn't, but I have yet to muster up the energy to award a single "student of the week" OR post excellent assignments, both of which are part of my POSTED rewards system. I have marble jars which are getting close to being full, and I plan to bring food/have a mini-party when they are full. I've brought cookies to two classes for doing exceptionally well on tests, which they like but might or might not improve performance. This is definitely a work in progress, but I know that they like it when I give them things and acknowledge that they're doing a good job, so I'm just going to keep on doing a sort of shoddy job of it until I get around to doing it better.
I think I'm also lacking in the presentation. I definitely learned in summer school that stuff is as big of a deal as YOU make it to students, and I have yet to discover how to add marbles to a jar with effective flourish, but they still get the idea and get kind of excited about it.

Overview:
I guess the entire point of MY CM plan is to put the students in an environment where they want to participate and they know that I want them to participate, and they're not afraid of making mistakes. On some level, this is working.
I do a lot of things wrong, but almost every evaluation I've gotten has highlighted the "comfortable" or "accepting" or "encouraging" classroom environment, and that's one of the most important things to me. So at least mabey I'm doing a few things right in the midst of my mistakes and, as always ... I'm learning.

Had a moment

2006-10-30T15:31:00.000-08:00

I think we've all been kind of living on the edge of sanity lately, and I know I for one sure have. But one of those little things just happened this morning, with my fifth block class ... slowly creeping into my heart even despite themselves, or starting to.

Michael Simpson. No. My fifth block class.
Okay, so they're the "regular" kids, as in not IB, not accelerated. English I. Basic.
They're the only ones who, every morning when they come in and I say good morning to each one of them individually, completely ignore me. I finally decided a few weeks ago that it's my job to teach them life skills every bit as much as alliteration or irony, and told them that I don't expect them to like me but I do expect them to acknowledge me when I greet them every morning and that if they didn't I would simply ask them to exit the room and enter again properly. That was a few weeks ago, and they're slowly getting used to it. Today a kid Michael Simpson, who sits near the front but rarely says anything, was walking into the classroom when I was turned away talking to somebody else. He totally could have slipped by, is the point. Instead he lightly grabbed my arm on his way by and said "Morning, Mrs. Smith."

If there wasn't ANY joy in my life before that, there was in that moment. I know I'm going to hate them again someday soon for acting like the precocious 14-year-old children that they are, but d**n. They're the ones who actually need me. and I kind of love them for it. Go me. And yay for the Michael Simpsons in my world. :)

Learning Styles Inventory

2006-10-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

My learning styles inventory separates into Visual, Auditory, or Tactile learners. I gave it to my first and second blocks. They're both IB; one is French and one is English. I suppose I chose these two classes partly because I have quite a few overlapping students but the personalities of the classes are completely different so I was curious to see how those differences played out.

First surprise was how into it the kids were. They all wanted to know immediately what style they were and what that meant (guess everybody's favorite topic is themself). I think that my classes were more heavily weighted towards auditory learners because they are IB and classes are traditionally lecture style, so they have to be fairly good at that to have been so successful. I wasn't surprised at that because they all listen well (to me and to one another) and are able to have engaging discussions.

As far as varying instruction I have a much easier time with that in French than in English. It seems so natural in a French class to make up motions to go with the verbs, or songs to help you remember things, or puzzles to put together the right pieces for verb conjugation, but I'm a lot less creative in my English classes.

Also one thing that I didn't notice about my learning styles inventory until after I had stupidly given it was that it doesn't have any suggestions for how to teach the different kinds of learners, it just suggests to the students what to do with information once they receive it.

Coulda shoulda woulda is the name of this game, though, at least for me. I think that had I spent more time selecting an inventory that would help ME help them I could have done a lot more with it, but add that to the ever-growing list of things I'll try to do better next time.
When I have the time...

High Points

2006-09-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

In lieu of our bi-weekly treasure chest ... just thought I'd share.

*In the last three weeks, I've had two days when I was a really good teacher. It's sure not an every day occurrence, but it can't happen again before it's happened once.

*Reggie Barnes says that I'm "captivating" (I guaranTEE you my students would vehemently disagree) and, more importantly, says I'm creating an environment in which my kids feel structured, comfortable, and understand that my expectation is for them to learn.

Ann told me this summer that my smile makes her want to learn (Ann's pretty cute). Anyway, Reggie Barnes said basically the same thing, about "projecting enthusiasm for teaching." If I got nothin else, at least they know I'm in it for the right reasons.

In other good news ... I gotta admit, they're kind of starting to grow on me. My first block was MAGNIFICENT today, I told them I was being evaluated on Tuesday (and bribed them with the promise of cookies for a good eval) and they were PRECIOUS, like they always participate and stuff (I know, I know, how lucky did I get with the IB kids) but they were SO CUTE, y'all, like winking at me behind his back and vying for participation points and humoring me when I made them re-raise their hands when they said "oooh!" at the same time, awwwww. :)

way to be, first block. Second block was good (I made my french kids make up signals for each new verb that we learned and they were so cute and creative, and I told two of the guys they'd get extra points for making me up a "conjugating-regular-er-verbs" song), and third block kind of sucked, but ... 8 weeks in, and on no sleep as usual ... 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

And I know that that's not good enough. Because I know that every child in that third block class deserves exactly as much as every child I have in any other class, and 2 out 3 doesn't do THEM any good. And, realistically, there are a lot of things I could be doing better. But I'm doing as much as I can and staying sane, and I'm improving. I'm getting it. slowly, certainly, but I'm making progress. And that's really about the most I could ask.

In other happy news ... the guys I roll with told me (and I quote) that I am going to be a BadA** one of these days. Rock on. My kids asked me why I had a bruise, I told them that I get beat up a couple hours a night a few times a week (gotta stop wearing those short-sleeved shirts). THIS is why I needed to be in Jackson (thank you, Ben). Cause that's the stuff that keeps me sane. yay for Jim Hill and getting lucky (I mean my PLACEMENT, y'all!) and getting just down and dirty with a bunch of guys who don't even KNOW my last name. ROCK ON.

Livin for today and may tomorrow never come, but if it does I'll be writing my last objective on the board right as the bell rings as usual. Back to the same old routine.

I just might could get used to this. ^_-

A Framework for Understanding Poverty Blog

2006-09-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

My reaction to Payne's notes at the end of every chapter on "what does this information mean in the school or work setting" gradually shifted from, "oh, I should try this" (when it's under my control) to "well if I tried to do ALL of this, when would I get ANYTHING ELSE DONE?"

Everybody has great ideas, and everybody wants to take up a bunch of your class time to implement them until the next education guru comes along and shifts the system again. We get this all the time, right?

But, in this case, first of all I understand that a lot of the time you'd be teching content along WITH these additional skills and second ... what good is it to my students, honestly, to know that Frost wrote "Fire and Ice" if they, as Payne suggests, are eliminated from job interviews in the first two or three minutes, not for lacking the necessary skills but simply for being unable to present themselves in a way that is socially acceptable and recognizable? Maybe the better question is how am I going to teach them all these necessary life skills when I'm so bound to the English I curriculum.

Throughout the book I was impressed with how dead-on Payne's lists were of expectations for student behavior "do the students in your school exhibit the following characteristics ...?" Well, yeah. One thing that I never would have thought about is the emphasis on whether or not the student LIKES us as teachers. Of course coming from the middle-class achievement-oriented mindset my emphasis in school was always on MY performance, but Payne notes again and again that, because these children depend most strongly on their relationships, they will only work hard if they LIKE YOU. Not sure how to deal with this one, but point made.

We talked in class last week about what speakers we wanted to hear from, and Elias made a good point; we know these kids are IN poverty, now what do we DO about it? I guess here's a place to start. Because for all of the heartwrenching situations in this book, some of the most critical resources these kids need, according to Payne, are things that WE CAN GIVE THEM. I'm not sold on everything she says (splitting kids into low- and high-achieving groups, for example), but I'm definitely sold on the idea that our students need a lot more than money to break the cycle that they're in, that even if they GOT money it wouldn't necessarily help (love the story about the family who sold the refrigerator to go camping), and that we can at least attempt to teach them, in the schools, and yes, even on a teacher's salary, some of the acceptable ways to interact with our sort and some key emotional strategies for making it work for them in real life. "In the final analysis," Payne says, "as one looks back on a teaching career, it is the relationships one remembrs."

Well, I could have told you that much. Here's to building relationships that will make a difference in the lives of our students, and in the best of all possible worlds, in the lives their families for generations to come.

Unexpected Surprises

2006-09-02T08:47:00.000-07:00

A veteran teacher at my school who I don't even know very well came by to chat this Thursday after school. One of those calm cool and collected types, very chill, very professional, and very much a breath of fresh air in my perpetually unfinished, ragtag, messy little classroom.

We just hung out for a while, and basically I don't think I shut my mouth a single time, and it's been a long time since I've met somebody new who I could just TALK to like that. And he just listened, and told me a little bit about himself, and tried to help me with all my problems (somehow in the FIRST FOUR WEEKS OF SCHOOL I've already managed to create potentially antagonistic relationships with 2 of the 3 "most important people in the school" according to every knowledgable source -- eep!). It helped put a lot of things in perspective for me. I think I'm just a teensy bit less insane now.

Also, shout-out to Elizabeth for clearly being one of those people who does actually give a d***.

Yay for people who care.

Dake and Jave ...

2006-08-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

Mr S INVARIABLY says this, completely unaware, each time he intends to discuss the illustrious careers of mr. roth and mr. molina. It made me laugh at first, but in an odd sort of way, it makes me think that something's sort of working. I mean, sure, they were there first, and sure, they're joined at the hip and dave assaulted jake's class with thirty irate math students demanding the return of their calculators and sure, they take crazy trips together, but could it be ... that something's there that wasn't there before?

Talked to Dave about this a lot when he took me to jackson (or, he talked about it a lot, or, whatever), but the idea was that instead of thinking of us, teacher corps, as people who come in for two years and leave, what he and jake are trying to do is to make a group that comes in and consistently brings energy and new ideas and hard workers to the staff, so that we WON'T be seen as the individuals who "leave" but as a group of people who are around to stay. So the more interchangeable we are, the better, sort of ...
anyway, so I think it's a cool idea and I want to get in on it. I'm busy as hell, but I WANT to start tutoring at elementary schools with Jake's kids, I WANT to start doing remediation with mine after school (god knows they need it), I'm kind of looking foward to meeting their parents, and I'm definitely planning on joining the ranks of "teachers that kids complain about for giving a lot of work" at Jim Hill.

And I'm not there yet, and I won't be for a while, and I know that, and that sucks, and I hate that for my kids because THEY'RE getting cheated beacuse I'M taking weeks and months of their time to figure out what I'm doing and that sucks. that sucks for both of us, but if i don't keep trying, and if i don't go in every day and face the music, and the idiotic administrative requirements, and the kids for crying out loud then i'll NEVER learn, and if I don't learn then I'll never be any good to them and this is where it starts. And everybody didn't start here, but everybody started somewhere, and if I want to be part of the movement, if I want to get in on all the good, amazing, inspiring things that are going on at this school then I have to start somewhere too. And that's all there is to it.

Starting here, starting now, and starting every morning when I look at the split and decide NOT to take I-20 East to Birmingham on my way to school ... and giving it the old college try.

Volatility,

2006-08-30T16:59:00.000-07:00

I think, is the name of this game.

cried tonight

2006-08-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

for the first time in a while.

i can't play this game any more.

I'm not good at it.

and mr. x from school wants to do coffee and creepy janitor guy is still trying to give me back rubs.

Woman Seeking: Someone who actually gives a d***.

blastoff.

2006-08-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

School started yesterday, and my kids are amazing and sweet and well-behaved, as kids are wont to be for the first few days of school, but today was so hard. I was okay, I was all right, I was tired and nervous about the planning that I need to do for tomorrow, that still hasn't gotten done, but I was okay. I stayed in my room for a few hours after school then drove just down the road to taco bell for a pick-me-up before (hopefully) visiting matt (who's in clinton for a few more days before going back to oxford for school). A family of 6 came in, mom, dad and four kids, and oh dear you know you're in the SOUTH when, in the biggest city in the state, you're rejected from an available apartment because they don't permit co-habitation and the fast-food places can't put up "no shirt, no shoes, no service" signs for fear of losing business. So I'm at this taco bell, eating alone, and the family walks in, and the whole time the two parents are yelling at the four children, and the parents don't seem to care for one another at all, and you hear all the time, children in working class families only hear x many words a day, and of those words, well ... most of them are negative. I've seen the numbers on this ... recently ... and suddenly I couldn't get it off my mind. This is who I'm teaching, and this is how they have lived their lives and every teaching rule that I've learned is being broken here and it never lets up. This is the mother saying "now i know i'm going to get a discount or something, i was in that drive-through line for twenty minutes" (what else is there to get, if not a discount?), this is the father with gold-capped teeth in front telling her to let it go, this is the 6-year old boy with three little sisters saying "I'm gonna hit you. Hey let's all hit her. Let's beat her down" and then playing ever-so-gently that he's "beating down" his little sister ... next sister's turn. This is the child who has been told all her life to sit still, never been made to do it, and heard 15 times a day "if you don't stop that I'll ..." fill in the blank. Knock your head off your shoulders. Likely story. This is the little girl who cries when her daddy makes her sit still then wants to sit in his lap to make her feel better. these are the children who, when their parents turn around, don't sit still anyway and get away with it. empty threats. and these are my children.

at the end of this meal, a man who's been sitting near the entrance asks me for two quarters. I don't have any cash, I tell him so, I get in my car and wonder what they all think of me, the preppy white girl with plenty of money who doesn't know what their lives are like and doesn't care and see the change in my cupholder. I walk back in and give the man two quarters and want to cry. because this is somebody's life.

Mind numb, I drive around and stop at stores and gas stations, can't go back to the school, can't get anything done, till grappling class at seven.

back at the apartment, I smell like five guys' sweat and haven't typed a word of lesson plans. when the mind has reached its limits, punish the body.

These are my children.

And so it begins

2006-08-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

"So the students arrive in T-minus two days and counting."

With this abundantly reassuring observation one of my three assigned mentor teahcers soothed me on our way to staff lunch at Picadilly cafeteria on Friday. T-minus two days.
And counting.

No students means no discipline problems, no names to recall on command, no irate parents, no papers to grade, no duty schedule, no detention, but somehow I feel like today was my first day as a teacher, as in THIS is what I'm going to be doing for the next six months (give or take) and THIS is, likely, how busy those six months will be.

Saturday Schedule:
6:31 AM -- Alarm goes off. Already awake and typing up an info sheet for the first day of school (stolen in large part from Mr. Sweeney)
7:20 AM -- stop typing up info sheet, get ready
7:50 AM -- waste fifteen minutes realizing once again that I REALLY NEED to buy some "teacher clothes"
8:40 AM -- arrive at my school only to realize that the orientation that was scheduled for nine actually began at 8:30 so I've already missed introductions
9:15 AM -- walk students around the school, shuttle messages back and forth between teachers, meet and greet, and finally get back to the apartment. change.
11AM-2:30 PM -- teacher resource center checking out cute templates+figuring out how to get my info on them, finding the color printer, laminator, and cutout machines, and slowly realizing how much more I will always need to get done
3:15 PM -- back at the school, where apporximately the first 22 people I run into explain to me that I have a visitor. Ms. Adobe's come to call, and to help me out, and that's pretty awesome.
3:30-8PM -- eat, work in the classroom on cleaning, bulletin boards, copying, getting rid of what I can, attempting to organize what I can't, and coming to accpet that I won't get it all done. Not before monday. Ms. Adobe is an invaluable asset.
School is locked at 8 PM , the mall closes at 9, and I need teacher clothes.
8:05PM - Accompanied by Ms. Adobe, who unfortunately has a less-than-stellar fashion sense (note my colleagues -- feel free to place the blame where it is due if my wardrobe is lacking in any way) I take the Sears women's department by storm, convincing a disgruntled cashier to check me out just after closing. Paychecks come on the 31st ...
9:30 PM -- to Wal Mart to get school supplies to distribute at cost to students. The next 2 hrs begin to degenerate, but we make it out alive and in good spirits with food, supplies, and even some teachers shoes. FORGET to use my teacher discount. Paychecks come on the 31st ...
12:30 AM -- turn on the gas stove, eat frozen pizza on the living floor (hardwood), then fall asleep on it around 1 AM in the midst of making lists of things I'm going to get done tonight before I get to bed.
2:30 AM -- relocate to the bed
5:50 AM -- wake up wishing to heaven I hadn't wasted so much time asleep. blog, and get back to work. School opens at ten.

Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave ..

2006-07-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

So funny that we're all leaving, one of the best and most important things from the summer is the support network I know that we will all be for one another throughout the coming year, but that network feels a little frayed around the edges right now. For the first time since May, we all have different schedules, different agendas, different things to do, and .. most noticeably ... a lot of us are headed in different directions. Some of us are headed home.

First night in Jackson, and a bunch of us don't have electricity in our apartments (for those of us who have apartments!), already circumstances are bringing us together again.

I've talked to people who've talked to people, and the consensus is in, that we shouldn't be worried about it, we're not all that far apart, and circumstances ... no doubt ... will keep us together and bring us into new and intriguing configurations. I believe them, and I know they're right, but I still dawdled getting my stuff together this morning. I still didn't really want to leave. This weekend was fun, I think a lot of people were putting off the inevitable just a little bit, stalling just a little bit ... Two hours isn't far, but it's not the same as living and playing and working together, either. We'll do well, we'll go out, we'll make our mark, we'll reconvene, but in the meantime ... We'll miss each other. at least a little bit.

training

2006-07-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

they say we're the best-prepared class of MTC-ers ever. and we have four hundred people who've done it before us, and they were all just as scared as us. "High expectations," germain said at the banquet last night. ("Are you a vegetarian?" -- that's what Dr. Mullins said. But that's because I made Elena take me to Taco Bell after she finally got out of class even though I knew we had the banquet coming up because I just knew that I'd die if I didn't eat RIGHT AWAY and then I wasn't hungry for dinner. So I didn't eat my roast beef. Dr. Mullins is awesome.)

On the most recent of ben's notorious evals we had to rate whether or not we feel "prepared" for the upcoming year. I think that's a little crazy. I mean, sure summer school was great prep, but, we're not in our districts yet, some of us don't even have classrooms yet, or textbooks, not to mention procedures, rules, rewards, a syllabus, a plan for contacting parents ... (yes, this was all on our CM presentations yesterday but that doesn't mean we're actually READY for it!) Then there's meeting people in our school, figuring out where things are, how to get things done, what forms we need and who we need to get them from, on and on and on and come on of COURSE we're not ready! But that doesn't mean we won't be. And it doesn't mean we can't do it.

Cause, despite that, this summer has been pretty remarkable. And I think what's going to be the best thing about it once we get to our districts is that we all have each other, and the 2nd years. Of course I can't speak for anybody else, but definitely one of the most valuable things about summer school for me is that we DID get to know at least some of the second years, that we got to watch them and spend time with them so now we have them to call on too in the upcoming year instead of just each other who are all new and confused and full of nervous and productive and misdirected and creative energies that ... well, we're not all quite sure what to do with just yet.

Stephen and I went down to our district Thursday, and it's kind of incredible that you walk in and then less than an hour and a flurry of papers later you walk out with a signed contract printed off one of the JPS Administrative offices computers, and, hey, you're a professional.

Welcome to the next phase of your life.
Here's hoping we enjoy it.

Watching Me: Part II

2006-07-18T00:43:00.000-07:00

TEAM teaching was last week -- overall, not nearly as horrific as the second-years made it out to be, but I think we're all hoping there will be some major revisions come next summer, nonetheless. I got videotaped on Wednesday, and noticed some new things and some of the same things as before. It's a lot harder without students in the room, to some extent (come fall -- in minus 3 weeks and counting -- I'm sure I'll rue that statement as my hair turns from brown to gray, but it does seem to lack some of the direction when you know that no one is actually learning anything from most of what you say...)

General Positive Observations:
-Circulated around the room well
-Good feedback to student responses, good validation of their opinions (when appropriate)
-Didn't pace around the front of the room excessively
-Clear instructions to keep everyone on the same page
-Tell the students why we're learning things, how it ties in to the next day's lesson
-Consistent review throughout the lesson, checking for comprehension, tying in previous day's
learning

General Negative Observations:
-Restated things I'd said because I didn't say them clearly or confidently enough the first time (this should not be necessary)
-still played with my hair too much while teaching
-said "you guys..."
-questions in class should be clearer, more direct, and more to-the-point
-turned my back to the students too often (at the board, should write on the overhead more to avoid this problem)
-Before I ask the students to perform an exercise I should model it for them
-If I am questioning verbally, I should tell them what to listen for before I begin the question, give them something to latch on to and hopefully give me a little bit more participation
-should have more written examples (too much verbal questioning/modeling which leads to less specific or less consistent examples)
-"SO" is not really a great transition word
-still talking a little too fast
-If I have students coming to the board I should organize them more carefully, not allow down time, give the other students SOMETHING TO DO while they're up there
-If I run out of things to do it is always appropriate to continue modeling/review -- there are always some people who are confused
-If I'm addressing a single student I should meet them at their level, don't talk from above them (I was better about this when I had "real" students)
-don't say "I want" you to do such-and-such
-don't use understatement
-PROJECT confidence even when I'm feeling a little stalled or flustered

WHAT I TOOK AWAY FROM THIS OBSERVATION:
If it is not worth my entire class listening to it, then I shouldn't say it. If it is worth my entire class listening to it, then I should say it loudly, calmly, cohesively, and with confidence. There should be no reason for me to ever talk quickly, quietly, or with minimal effort in the classroom, or to indicate verbally or through my mannerisms that it doesn't really matter if they hear this particular thing that I'm saying or not. If I am teaching them, they should be listening. And if I am confident that they should be listening (and even if I'm not) ... I should project that confidence to them in order to be a more effective instructor.

2006-07-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

My Classroom Management Mentors // (or: A self-selected June blog in July)

So my mom didn't want me to do MTC. She never really said why, but basically, bottom line I think she just thought that a) I wouldn't really be able to do it, and b) as a result of that, I would be unhappy in the attempt.

This is actually completely logical in my mom's head. She has four kids and she was awesome with us, but she is utterly convinced that she simply does not have what it takes to control a CLASSROOM full of students. She basically thinks the same thing about me. My mom is amazing one-on-one, she tutors and all her kids adore her, and all of us grew up knowing that whatever WE decided to do we would have her full support.

So how do you convey that to a classroom full of kids? How do you combine the caring with the persona you need to make it work? Basically my answer came in three stages, with three faces.

1) Ben. People keep asking me how he knew to pick us. Service, achievement, and commitment are the common threads but that doesn't make us good teachers. Thing is, that falls exactly into Ben's philosophy. The service and the academic achievement DON'T make us good teachers. Learning and training and TEACHING make us good teachers. Commitment makes us willing to LEARN. Couzo had me worried for a while, because when I went to see him in November I asked a lot about training. At some point I said "I couldn't walk in here tomorrow and do this." and he said, "You could if you had to." Okay, some of my classmates definitely could, but that's not the attitude I want my TEACHER TRAINING PROGRAM to take about my training. Fortunately, it totally isn't. The summer training is about helping us to BE good teachers. That's why the screening process works, with no personal interview and no model lesson to turn in or present. Ben finds people who want to be here, and puts them in a position where they can and have to learn what they need to learn. This is extremely empowering for us, and for anyone coming into the program. We can do it, if we try.

2) Ann. Okay. The lady who's going to teach us CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT is adorable, comes armed with crayons and markers, and used to teach third grade. Where I'm coming from, this is the my-mom component. The I-care-about-you part of teaching, in action. Ann shows us how to get everybody involved, how not to upset anybody, and most importantly, to have high expectations EVERY DAY, for EVERY STUDENT. There's a lot more to EDSE 500 than paper-folding and cushy inclusiveness, but this is the biggest message I took away: High expectations, believe in everybody, and rewards are your best friend.

3) E. My summer school head teacher. I think that Elizabeth Savage and I, at first meeting, had a mutual (albeit mild) distrust. She thought I was going to quail in front of a classroom full of 17 high school students (I, incidentally, had no experience to suggest that this was in any way untrue), and I'd heard that she could be, well ... a bit overbearing in the classroom.
At the end of the month, I guess the simplest explanation is that E. filled in the missing pieces for me. How do you control a class FIRST so that you can then let them know you care about them? Well, she not only showed me how to do it but helped me to understand that controlling your classroom is a way to show you care. It's not only about the encouraging note on their desk or the quiet conference in the hall -- it's about creating and environment where they CAN learn, and where they EXPECT to learn, and if you've gotten that done then it really doesn't matter if they think you're the Wicked Witch of the West (and, on top of that, they probably won't).

One day during summer school Elizabeth noticed that the other first-years and I were getting slack on discipline. We were complimented repeatedly on having one of the most controlled classrooms in the building, and even this day, it wasn't anything big, a subtle slip here or there over a period of time. She railed us. She was MAD. Not out of control, but obviously incensed. She told us that you HAVE to give that warning or detention at the first slip outside the lines because you CARE ABOUT THE STUDENTS -- to maintain a positive learning environment for THEM, ultimately, to let them ALL know that you CARE ENOUGH ABOUT THEM NOT TO IGNORE THEM. She told us that she didn't want to see any of our kids get kicked out before the end of the summer school, but that by being lax in enforcing consequences, we were going to let that happen.
You've heard this message a million times, I've heard it a million times, you give them a punishment because you care, my mom used to give me that after she spanked me when I was three and four years old.
I have never believed it before like I did when it came from Elizabeth. She wasn't mad at us, she was mad that the students weren't getting the best opportunity they could to learn things that they will someday need to know.
And it sounds corny, and it sounds like I'm trying to say the right things, but that's where it's different. Ben Guest told us on May 31, "I am pretty laid-back about everything else, but I am as serious as a heart attack about this program."
Elizabeth meant it. She cares fiercely for her students, and the more time we spent teaching together, the more unmistakably evident this became to all of us.
I'm sure I didn't learn enough, in four weeks, to be ready to face the fall. But I learned an awful lot.

2006-07-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Watching ME in MTC : Self-Evaluation of a Videotaped Lesson

This was very bizarre, the last time I'd seen myself on tape was when I was 12. Overall, the lesson went well, and I guess overall I was pleased with my own performance, but for me it definitely IS a performance so I think that's why it was so weird to watch it and break it down. I am blissfully and UTTERLY unaware of my "audience" about 98% of the time while I'm teaching so then to suddenly be merely a passive observer of my own lesson ...

I need to stop pushing my hair behind my ears so much.

I need to be MUCH MORE AWARE of ALL the little things that are going on in my class around me.

I'm good at giving out warnings without leaving room for argument and without missing a beat in what I'm saying.

I'm very open and approachable/helpful when the students are doing individual work.

I need to develop a much better sense of how long I need to allow my students and myself to accomplish specific tasks (not to stick to religiously, but to have a general idea).

I need to a) learn to be more aware of my vocabulary (too big words AND too-casual things like "you know" and occasionally even "you guys"!) and b) learn to give much clearer definitions or restatements when I am not going to omit words my students may not understand.

I need to plan for some students to finish earlier than others and have work prepared for them!

I need to understand that my role is that of a facilitator, and create many more opportunities for my students to take ownership of the subject matter.

I need to keep teaching, keep improving, and keep trying. And keep listening to all of the adivce and feedback I receive about my teaching.

2006-07-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

Implementing Classroom Strategies/Reluctant Disciplinarian Blog

Well, I read the Reluctant Disciplinarian becuase I got lucky and got in with Ben before they realized they couldn't give it out anymore. It's basically a guy who had a disastrous first year of teaching explaining where his trouble was and how he hopes we can avoid it. A ton of the advice is the same as what we've been getting, and some of it just makes me REALLY HOPE that I can somehow avert disaster and get off to a better start than he did, but some of it is good advice that we haven't gotten yet and some of it bears repeating.

My favorite section was called "Being a REAL teacher." His list goes as follows:
1) Real teachers dress the part
2) Real teachers give a "rules" speech
3) Real teachers are decisive
4) Real teachers use textbooks (quiz -- make them WANT to learn!)
5) Real teachers are direct and to the point

Obviously, not all of these work for everyone (Mr. Roth, for example, has apparently never felt bound by rule number one, and with no overtly detrimental consequences, but, he also has a gigantic beard that probably convinces the students that he's old enough to be teaching them. Many of us have not this luxury.)

Basically, I think it's a trust issue (The author, Mr. Rubenstein, like the much-loved ms. monroe, also notes that every piece of advice is good, you just have to figure out what it means to you. I'm taking this liberty with the Real Teacher section of RD). So, trust. The kids want to learn. They want to trust you. They have had tons of experiences that lead them to understand that not all teachers are to be trusted, so at least at first you have to come across as a REAL, SERIOUS, and COMPETENT teacher.

Dressing the part: It's about looking professional, it's about having that certificate up on the wall, it's about letting them know that you are qualified to do your job and that you intend on taking it (and, by implication, them) seriously.

Giving a "Rules" speech: I doubt that at this point any of us have retained enough new-agey they-need-freedom ideas to have any questions about this one. GIVE A RULES SPEECH. be clear, be consistent, and BE FIRM.

Being Decisive: This is my favorite, because it's the hardest for me to get a good handle on. I think, again, it's about trust. You have to look confident. We all ARE competent, but we have to convince every kid in our room of that before they're gonna believe it. Also, it makes the class more organized and easier to handle if they know EXACTLY what to do. Will I still see your name if it's on the "wrong" side of the paper? Yes. Will I take points off, yes.
This seems dumb to me, on some level, because, it doesn't really matter. But I think it's important because it makes them not only feel like you're confident, but it makes them feel confident too. They know exactly what they need to do. It's not about nitpicky requirements, it's actually on some level about creating a safe space. And in times when there's not a right decision, make one and stick to your guns. Ultimately it will make your kids feel safer, and more confient in themselves. At least that's how I see it.

Using Textbooks: Again, it's a confidence issue. Before they trust you, they have to believe that they're learning, and textbooks are one clear indicator of that for them. Mr. Rubenstein had another similar idea that makes a lot of sense to me too. For the first week of school, his goal is to teach them something (in the content area of course) so well and SO MUCH that almost ALL of them actually know it. He gives them a quiz, and they all do well, and voila, they are convinced (at least momentarily) that HE is a good teacher. How far this will carry, I don't know, but it can't hurt to get off to a good start.

Being Direct and to the Point: I could take this one to heart as well. Mr. Rubentsein says, "Teachers have only a certain number of words they can say in the year before their classes tune out. New teachers usually use them up in the first month." I don't think this goes for years so much as class periods, but who knows, mabey both. Point being, don't use superfluous words. I do this, I know, when I'm nervous or when I feel a need to fill space, but if you want them to pay attention to everything you say, then DON'T SAY ANYTHING THAT THEY DON'T NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO. This follows perfectly logically, but it's a little hard to apply sometimes. Also, get comfortable with silence. Flip side.

Final Thoughts:
Mr. Rubenstein says, "Like your students." And why not.

My other favorite piece of advice in the book is to not let your kids complain to you about other teachers, and not just in a let's-not-gossip way, but in a much more proactive sense. Okay, so they learned from you last semester, but they just can't learn with this new person, this new person doesn't explain anything, and doesn't even give reading assignments.
I loved his responses to this. Well did she tell you NOT to read the textbook? Or, when they said that the new lady didn't explain anything "Well you didn't pay attention when I was explaining things anyway" And the kid agreed.
This is awesome because it puts the responsibility on THEM. Help them if they really don't undrestand something, but don't allow them any excuses not to learn.
Flip Side: Your class is not the problem. All of these kids want to succeed. We are facilitators.

Zabe Showed me how to Title my BLOGS!!

2006-06-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well, Elena made a 38 on the MCAT, second-years are getting the best test scores in the state, and I still can't, for the life of me, figure out how to put a title on a blog.

Good times.

Last week I tried a little procedure we like to call "muddiest part of the lecture," only I kind of let them ask questions about anything we'd been learning in French for the last few days (instead of just my lecture) because, first, we had a quiz the next day and I wanted to be able to review what they needed rather than what I might think they would need and, second, because they said they didn't have anything they were confused about at first so I decided to broaden the base.
The idea with this procedure is that you tell each kid to write down, at the end of a lecture, anything that they're still confused about so that you can get feedback from everyone, even the kids who aren't going to say anything in class or ask you to stop and explain. In my case, the other option was to write down anything that you'd like to learn more about if you swore you didn't have any questions (for some of them, this may even have been true -- the kid who said, "I don't have any questions, there are just some things I don't understand" totally rocked his test).
I wasn't sure at first if this would actually help; the responses are a little overwhelming since you have 17 or more kids who all have problems with different things, and also since I didn't say the magic words "this is for a grade" I didn't actually get a response from every person, but there were a few patterns and if nothing else it made me stop and realize that even though I get really great participation in class, not EVERYONE is on the same page as me and NOT everyone is absolutely ready to move on. Wake-up call, I guess, informal assessment, what-have-you.
I spent a little bit of time comparing the make-a-question responses to how they actually performed on the test, and here's what happened: A couple of them did really well even in the areas they were concerned with, a couple of them were spot-on with what they said they needed to work on, and then a few of the answers were just a bit too general to provide solid feedback (Reminder: always be PAINFULLY clear when giving any type of directions!!)
I might do this again, but I think in a setting in which I have a class consistently and can set up my own room it might be more effective (?) to just have a box FOR this type of thing and remind them each day that they have the option of adding to it so that (a) I don't have to go through 120 responses every day and (b) if they have a pressing question THAT DAY they will always have an easy, direct, alternate-route avenue to getting it adressed, not just on special days when I ask.

Overall this was a good exercise, but hopefully the base idea could be applied more constructively. We shall see.

Focus Paper Response

2006-06-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

I read Adryon Wong's paper on the No Child Left Behind Act, largely because I know it's a big deal but I know I don't know enough about what the rules are and what the results have been thus far.

Adryon says that students run the risk of spending too much time being educated for a state test and too little time "being genuinely educated." Unfortunately, that's the part where I keep getting stuck. Who makes the rules about what a "genuine" education consists of?? One complaint is that in an effort to teach to the test, schools spend less time on physical education, fine arts, foreign language, and vocational studies. The problem is, it's all important. Teaching to a state test is not going to encourage individuatlized instruction, and it's certainly going to discourage teacher creativity and spontaneity, but I have a really hard time saying it's a bad idea. Even in the brief "education" training that I've had in the last two weeks, we've talked a bit about this. In the video we saw we decided that the important part was not which reading system was implemented in critical-needs schools but that all the teachers and the administrator were working towards a common goal. Yes, the items covered on the accountability tests are inevitably limiting and limited, but it is a clearly defined set of competencies that gives EVERY teacher something to work with and something to work towards. The problem of individual school accountability is not solved by this act, but it is at least addressed. If every school knows what areas it needs to improve, that gives every teacher a concrete goal to address. And even if, one day, every student passes that standardized test and we realize that the test could have been better and the students might still not know all the right things, at least they know something, and at least everybody's moving in the same direction towards the same goals.
And I realize how this sounds, and I'm aware of all those things that people HAVE to learn to be successful that just can't be measured, but I do think that there needs to be a standard. Even if it's not perfect and even if it stifles somebody's creativity, there is no right way to address this problem. I was thinking again about the two literacy programs that the critical-needs schools in the videos implemented, and yes, to the creators of those programs it probably would be a little insulting to have us say that either one works just as well, the point is to have a program, to dedicate resources and energy in a similar direction, but I think that that IS the point. And on a larger scale, that's still the point. Education is one of the most ill-defined topics in our society, nobody really knows what it is or how to do it, and we're unlikely to reach a consensus anytime soon. In the meantime, some things on those state tests are probably worth knowing and some probably aren't, and you're sure as heck not going to get a job because you know how to form a simile or identify a paradox, but it IS important to know how to read and it IS important to be able to do basic math and if state standards push teachers to ALL have their students up to SOME kind of standard ... arguable as that standard may be, I think it's bound to help.

Contradictory opinions welcome.

Item the first: MTC.

2006-06-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

We've been at it about two weeks now, and it's been fairly intense. The first few days were mostly introduction, but now that we've started into the summer school I'm acutely aware of how little time we have. In college courses it would occur to me now and again to wonder if I was actually getting "educated" enough, and if, after taking 12 or 20 or 48 more classes I'd know enough to justify receiving a degree, but this feels like a whole different ballgame.

My thesis professor laughed at the idea of me in an "education" curriculum, at how easy it would inevitably be, but the pressure is so much higher here because every day, even as we're learning to plan lessons and about which state tests we'll have to get our students to pass and why, I am facing head on for the first time the realization that these kids' EDUCATION is in some small way my responsibility. And the thing is, there are no ready answers. Even if I understood everything they're teaching me, even if I had no doubts that a young, small, white girl could control a class of high schoolers, even if I knew the format of a lesson plan like the back of my hand, those are all just TOOLS and ultimately it is UP TO ME to figure out really what to teach these kids.

And that's a big deal. And yes, there are state guidelines, and yes, I am surrounded by resources and people who know so much more about this than I do but ultimately, come august, I'm going to close that classroom door and decide what my kids are going to learn.

Assuming that I've assimilated enough experience in our brief 8 weeks of training to take care of all the technicalities.