Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave ..

So funny that we're all leaving, one of the best and most important things from the summer is the support network I know that we will all be for one another throughout the coming year, but that network feels a little frayed around the edges right now. For the first time since May, we all have different schedules, different agendas, different things to do, and .. most noticeably ... a lot of us are headed in different directions. Some of us are headed home.

First night in Jackson, and a bunch of us don't have electricity in our apartments (for those of us who have apartments!), already circumstances are bringing us together again.

I've talked to people who've talked to people, and the consensus is in, that we shouldn't be worried about it, we're not all that far apart, and circumstances ... no doubt ... will keep us together and bring us into new and intriguing configurations. I believe them, and I know they're right, but I still dawdled getting my stuff together this morning. I still didn't really want to leave. This weekend was fun, I think a lot of people were putting off the inevitable just a little bit, stalling just a little bit ... Two hours isn't far, but it's not the same as living and playing and working together, either. We'll do well, we'll go out, we'll make our mark, we'll reconvene, but in the meantime ... We'll miss each other. at least a little bit.

training

they say we're the best-prepared class of MTC-ers ever. and we have four hundred people who've done it before us, and they were all just as scared as us. "High expectations," germain said at the banquet last night. ("Are you a vegetarian?" -- that's what Dr. Mullins said. But that's because I made Elena take me to Taco Bell after she finally got out of class even though I knew we had the banquet coming up because I just knew that I'd die if I didn't eat RIGHT AWAY and then I wasn't hungry for dinner. So I didn't eat my roast beef. Dr. Mullins is awesome.)

On the most recent of ben's notorious evals we had to rate whether or not we feel "prepared" for the upcoming year. I think that's a little crazy. I mean, sure summer school was great prep, but, we're not in our districts yet, some of us don't even have classrooms yet, or textbooks, not to mention procedures, rules, rewards, a syllabus, a plan for contacting parents ... (yes, this was all on our CM presentations yesterday but that doesn't mean we're actually READY for it!) Then there's meeting people in our school, figuring out where things are, how to get things done, what forms we need and who we need to get them from, on and on and on and come on of COURSE we're not ready! But that doesn't mean we won't be. And it doesn't mean we can't do it.

Cause, despite that, this summer has been pretty remarkable. And I think what's going to be the best thing about it once we get to our districts is that we all have each other, and the 2nd years. Of course I can't speak for anybody else, but definitely one of the most valuable things about summer school for me is that we DID get to know at least some of the second years, that we got to watch them and spend time with them so now we have them to call on too in the upcoming year instead of just each other who are all new and confused and full of nervous and productive and misdirected and creative energies that ... well, we're not all quite sure what to do with just yet.

Stephen and I went down to our district Thursday, and it's kind of incredible that you walk in and then less than an hour and a flurry of papers later you walk out with a signed contract printed off one of the JPS Administrative offices computers, and, hey, you're a professional.

Welcome to the next phase of your life.
Here's hoping we enjoy it.

Watching Me: Part II

TEAM teaching was last week -- overall, not nearly as horrific as the second-years made it out to be, but I think we're all hoping there will be some major revisions come next summer, nonetheless. I got videotaped on Wednesday, and noticed some new things and some of the same things as before. It's a lot harder without students in the room, to some extent (come fall -- in minus 3 weeks and counting -- I'm sure I'll rue that statement as my hair turns from brown to gray, but it does seem to lack some of the direction when you know that no one is actually learning anything from most of what you say...)

General Positive Observations:
-Circulated around the room well
-Good feedback to student responses, good validation of their opinions (when appropriate)
-Didn't pace around the front of the room excessively
-Clear instructions to keep everyone on the same page
-Tell the students why we're learning things, how it ties in to the next day's lesson
-Consistent review throughout the lesson, checking for comprehension, tying in previous day's
learning

General Negative Observations:
-Restated things I'd said because I didn't say them clearly or confidently enough the first time (this should not be necessary)
-still played with my hair too much while teaching
-said "you guys..."
-questions in class should be clearer, more direct, and more to-the-point
-turned my back to the students too often (at the board, should write on the overhead more to avoid this problem)
-Before I ask the students to perform an exercise I should model it for them
-If I am questioning verbally, I should tell them what to listen for before I begin the question, give them something to latch on to and hopefully give me a little bit more participation
-should have more written examples (too much verbal questioning/modeling which leads to less specific or less consistent examples)
-"SO" is not really a great transition word
-still talking a little too fast
-If I have students coming to the board I should organize them more carefully, not allow down time, give the other students SOMETHING TO DO while they're up there
-If I run out of things to do it is always appropriate to continue modeling/review -- there are always some people who are confused
-If I'm addressing a single student I should meet them at their level, don't talk from above them (I was better about this when I had "real" students)
-don't say "I want" you to do such-and-such
-don't use understatement
-PROJECT confidence even when I'm feeling a little stalled or flustered

WHAT I TOOK AWAY FROM THIS OBSERVATION:
If it is not worth my entire class listening to it, then I shouldn't say it. If it is worth my entire class listening to it, then I should say it loudly, calmly, cohesively, and with confidence. There should be no reason for me to ever talk quickly, quietly, or with minimal effort in the classroom, or to indicate verbally or through my mannerisms that it doesn't really matter if they hear this particular thing that I'm saying or not. If I am teaching them, they should be listening. And if I am confident that they should be listening (and even if I'm not) ... I should project that confidence to them in order to be a more effective instructor.

My Classroom Management Mentors // (or: A self-selected June blog in July)

So my mom didn't want me to do MTC. She never really said why, but basically, bottom line I think she just thought that a) I wouldn't really be able to do it, and b) as a result of that, I would be unhappy in the attempt.

This is actually completely logical in my mom's head. She has four kids and she was awesome with us, but she is utterly convinced that she simply does not have what it takes to control a CLASSROOM full of students. She basically thinks the same thing about me. My mom is amazing one-on-one, she tutors and all her kids adore her, and all of us grew up knowing that whatever WE decided to do we would have her full support.

So how do you convey that to a classroom full of kids? How do you combine the caring with the persona you need to make it work? Basically my answer came in three stages, with three faces.

1) Ben. People keep asking me how he knew to pick us. Service, achievement, and commitment are the common threads but that doesn't make us good teachers. Thing is, that falls exactly into Ben's philosophy. The service and the academic achievement DON'T make us good teachers. Learning and training and TEACHING make us good teachers. Commitment makes us willing to LEARN. Couzo had me worried for a while, because when I went to see him in November I asked a lot about training. At some point I said "I couldn't walk in here tomorrow and do this." and he said, "You could if you had to." Okay, some of my classmates definitely could, but that's not the attitude I want my TEACHER TRAINING PROGRAM to take about my training. Fortunately, it totally isn't. The summer training is about helping us to BE good teachers. That's why the screening process works, with no personal interview and no model lesson to turn in or present. Ben finds people who want to be here, and puts them in a position where they can and have to learn what they need to learn. This is extremely empowering for us, and for anyone coming into the program. We can do it, if we try.

2) Ann. Okay. The lady who's going to teach us CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT is adorable, comes armed with crayons and markers, and used to teach third grade. Where I'm coming from, this is the my-mom component. The I-care-about-you part of teaching, in action. Ann shows us how to get everybody involved, how not to upset anybody, and most importantly, to have high expectations EVERY DAY, for EVERY STUDENT. There's a lot more to EDSE 500 than paper-folding and cushy inclusiveness, but this is the biggest message I took away: High expectations, believe in everybody, and rewards are your best friend.

3) E. My summer school head teacher. I think that Elizabeth Savage and I, at first meeting, had a mutual (albeit mild) distrust. She thought I was going to quail in front of a classroom full of 17 high school students (I, incidentally, had no experience to suggest that this was in any way untrue), and I'd heard that she could be, well ... a bit overbearing in the classroom.
At the end of the month, I guess the simplest explanation is that E. filled in the missing pieces for me. How do you control a class FIRST so that you can then let them know you care about them? Well, she not only showed me how to do it but helped me to understand that controlling your classroom is a way to show you care. It's not only about the encouraging note on their desk or the quiet conference in the hall -- it's about creating and environment where they CAN learn, and where they EXPECT to learn, and if you've gotten that done then it really doesn't matter if they think you're the Wicked Witch of the West (and, on top of that, they probably won't).

One day during summer school Elizabeth noticed that the other first-years and I were getting slack on discipline. We were complimented repeatedly on having one of the most controlled classrooms in the building, and even this day, it wasn't anything big, a subtle slip here or there over a period of time. She railed us. She was MAD. Not out of control, but obviously incensed. She told us that you HAVE to give that warning or detention at the first slip outside the lines because you CARE ABOUT THE STUDENTS -- to maintain a positive learning environment for THEM, ultimately, to let them ALL know that you CARE ENOUGH ABOUT THEM NOT TO IGNORE THEM. She told us that she didn't want to see any of our kids get kicked out before the end of the summer school, but that by being lax in enforcing consequences, we were going to let that happen.
You've heard this message a million times, I've heard it a million times, you give them a punishment because you care, my mom used to give me that after she spanked me when I was three and four years old.
I have never believed it before like I did when it came from Elizabeth. She wasn't mad at us, she was mad that the students weren't getting the best opportunity they could to learn things that they will someday need to know.
And it sounds corny, and it sounds like I'm trying to say the right things, but that's where it's different. Ben Guest told us on May 31, "I am pretty laid-back about everything else, but I am as serious as a heart attack about this program."
Elizabeth meant it. She cares fiercely for her students, and the more time we spent teaching together, the more unmistakably evident this became to all of us.
I'm sure I didn't learn enough, in four weeks, to be ready to face the fall. But I learned an awful lot.

Watching ME in MTC : Self-Evaluation of a Videotaped Lesson

This was very bizarre, the last time I'd seen myself on tape was when I was 12. Overall, the lesson went well, and I guess overall I was pleased with my own performance, but for me it definitely IS a performance so I think that's why it was so weird to watch it and break it down. I am blissfully and UTTERLY unaware of my "audience" about 98% of the time while I'm teaching so then to suddenly be merely a passive observer of my own lesson ...

I need to stop pushing my hair behind my ears so much.

I need to be MUCH MORE AWARE of ALL the little things that are going on in my class around me.

I'm good at giving out warnings without leaving room for argument and without missing a beat in what I'm saying.

I'm very open and approachable/helpful when the students are doing individual work.

I need to develop a much better sense of how long I need to allow my students and myself to accomplish specific tasks (not to stick to religiously, but to have a general idea).

I need to a) learn to be more aware of my vocabulary (too big words AND too-casual things like "you know" and occasionally even "you guys"!) and b) learn to give much clearer definitions or restatements when I am not going to omit words my students may not understand.

I need to plan for some students to finish earlier than others and have work prepared for them!

I need to understand that my role is that of a facilitator, and create many more opportunities for my students to take ownership of the subject matter.



I need to keep teaching, keep improving, and keep trying. And keep listening to all of the adivce and feedback I receive about my teaching.

Implementing Classroom Strategies/Reluctant Disciplinarian Blog

Well, I read the Reluctant Disciplinarian becuase I got lucky and got in with Ben before they realized they couldn't give it out anymore. It's basically a guy who had a disastrous first year of teaching explaining where his trouble was and how he hopes we can avoid it. A ton of the advice is the same as what we've been getting, and some of it just makes me REALLY HOPE that I can somehow avert disaster and get off to a better start than he did, but some of it is good advice that we haven't gotten yet and some of it bears repeating.

My favorite section was called "Being a REAL teacher." His list goes as follows:
1) Real teachers dress the part
2) Real teachers give a "rules" speech
3) Real teachers are decisive
4) Real teachers use textbooks (quiz -- make them WANT to learn!)
5) Real teachers are direct and to the point

Obviously, not all of these work for everyone (Mr. Roth, for example, has apparently never felt bound by rule number one, and with no overtly detrimental consequences, but, he also has a gigantic beard that probably convinces the students that he's old enough to be teaching them. Many of us have not this luxury.)

Basically, I think it's a trust issue (The author, Mr. Rubenstein, like the much-loved ms. monroe, also notes that every piece of advice is good, you just have to figure out what it means to you. I'm taking this liberty with the Real Teacher section of RD). So, trust. The kids want to learn. They want to trust you. They have had tons of experiences that lead them to understand that not all teachers are to be trusted, so at least at first you have to come across as a REAL, SERIOUS, and COMPETENT teacher.

Dressing the part: It's about looking professional, it's about having that certificate up on the wall, it's about letting them know that you are qualified to do your job and that you intend on taking it (and, by implication, them) seriously.

Giving a "Rules" speech: I doubt that at this point any of us have retained enough new-agey they-need-freedom ideas to have any questions about this one. GIVE A RULES SPEECH. be clear, be consistent, and BE FIRM.

Being Decisive: This is my favorite, because it's the hardest for me to get a good handle on. I think, again, it's about trust. You have to look confident. We all ARE competent, but we have to convince every kid in our room of that before they're gonna believe it. Also, it makes the class more organized and easier to handle if they know EXACTLY what to do. Will I still see your name if it's on the "wrong" side of the paper? Yes. Will I take points off, yes.
This seems dumb to me, on some level, because, it doesn't really matter. But I think it's important because it makes them not only feel like you're confident, but it makes them feel confident too. They know exactly what they need to do. It's not about nitpicky requirements, it's actually on some level about creating a safe space. And in times when there's not a right decision, make one and stick to your guns. Ultimately it will make your kids feel safer, and more confient in themselves. At least that's how I see it.

Using Textbooks: Again, it's a confidence issue. Before they trust you, they have to believe that they're learning, and textbooks are one clear indicator of that for them. Mr. Rubenstein had another similar idea that makes a lot of sense to me too. For the first week of school, his goal is to teach them something (in the content area of course) so well and SO MUCH that almost ALL of them actually know it. He gives them a quiz, and they all do well, and voila, they are convinced (at least momentarily) that HE is a good teacher. How far this will carry, I don't know, but it can't hurt to get off to a good start.

Being Direct and to the Point: I could take this one to heart as well. Mr. Rubentsein says, "Teachers have only a certain number of words they can say in the year before their classes tune out. New teachers usually use them up in the first month." I don't think this goes for years so much as class periods, but who knows, mabey both. Point being, don't use superfluous words. I do this, I know, when I'm nervous or when I feel a need to fill space, but if you want them to pay attention to everything you say, then DON'T SAY ANYTHING THAT THEY DON'T NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO. This follows perfectly logically, but it's a little hard to apply sometimes. Also, get comfortable with silence. Flip side.

Final Thoughts:
Mr. Rubenstein says, "Like your students." And why not.

My other favorite piece of advice in the book is to not let your kids complain to you about other teachers, and not just in a let's-not-gossip way, but in a much more proactive sense. Okay, so they learned from you last semester, but they just can't learn with this new person, this new person doesn't explain anything, and doesn't even give reading assignments.
I loved his responses to this. Well did she tell you NOT to read the textbook? Or, when they said that the new lady didn't explain anything "Well you didn't pay attention when I was explaining things anyway" And the kid agreed.
This is awesome because it puts the responsibility on THEM. Help them if they really don't undrestand something, but don't allow them any excuses not to learn.
Flip Side: Your class is not the problem. All of these kids want to succeed. We are facilitators.